When It’s Hard To Fight

dex

3.5 years in.

Wow I can’t believe it’s been over 3.5 years. I remember what life was like before t1d. I was free. Life was simple. And somehow although I know it’s not true, I still feel like I did something horrible to deserve this. It sits there in the back of my mind.

I remember what life was like before t1d. I was freer. Life was simpler. And somehow although I know it’s not true, I still feel like I did something horrible to deserve this.

How many times have I said to my other half, “I feel like God is punishing you because you fell in love with me”.

The thing about all of this is, it’s not just t1d. It’s my undiagnosed seizures, the hearing loss, the anxiety, the everything.

Is this my first world way of suffering? Am I meant to suffer? I scratch and claw to find the good in this-and there is so much good-but sometimes the negativity sweeps in.

And it’s really really hard to fight.

Xo

J

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s