When It’s Hard To Fight

dex

3.5 years in.

Wow I can’t believe it’s been over 3.5 years. I remember what life was like before t1d. I was free. Life was simple. And somehow although I know it’s not true, I still feel like I did something horrible to deserve this. It sits there in the back of my mind.

I remember what life was like before t1d. I was freer. Life was simpler. And somehow although I know it’s not true, I still feel like I did something horrible to deserve this.

How many times have I said to my other half, “I feel like God is punishing you because you fell in love with me”.

The thing about all of this is, it’s not just t1d. It’s my undiagnosed seizures, the hearing loss, the anxiety, the everything.

Is this my first world way of suffering? Am I meant to suffer? I scratch and claw to find the good in this-and there is so much good-but sometimes the negativity sweeps in.

And it’s really really hard to fight.

Xo

J

 

One Touch Verio Flex-worth the switch?

verio

What would it take for you to switch meters?

That’s what I ask myself every time a new one hits the market.

The latest I’ve tried is the One Touch Verio Flex (pictured above). It’s features include a simple color idenfication system (blue=low, green=in range, red=high). There’s also an app that lets you see your numbers and trends on your phone.

Currently, I am using this bad boy. The OneTouch Mini:

cgm

I LOVE that the mini is so small and I like the colour. Yes, the design matters to me. Yay for soft curves and simple buttons. Since I have the CGM, this meter serves me well. I don’t use it to identify trends. All I really need is something to tell me where I’m at and so I can calibrate.

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Despite its fairly nice design and app (which I didn’t end up looking at all that much but it’s definitely a nice-to-have, especially if you don’t have a CGM), I wouldn’t switch over. The strips are too ‘prickly’. They are awkward, and in a low, I have trouble testing myself let along with a strip that has two prongs.

If you are new to diabetes management and don’t quite understand your numbers, then I would see the value in this meter as the color coding makes it very simple to understand where you sitting at.

Still on the lookout for my dream meter: a light where the strip is inserted, modern and sleek design in my perfect world, being able to test underwater.

You can dream right?

Late night #t1d confession

I am so tired. I’m drained and frustrated and just feel like lying in bed (with a big box of tissues in hand).

Today was a particularly awful day. My anxiety was sky high and throughout the day, I just ended up sobbing and burying my head.

This is when my type 1 diabetes can come and just wreak havoc on me. Last night I was sky high and I felt it in the morning. Throughout the day I was just shot.

This disease never gives you a break. And sometimes when you’re down, it feels like it’s just kicking you. Spitting at you. And taking an unflattering photo and posting it online.

I know people have it a lot worse. But today I just had to let everything sink in and just be.

Tomorrow is a new day.

____________________________

I discovered online last week these amazing cards made specifically for people with type 1! When I checked out their site again today, it lifted my spirits a bit. I love the message, I love the questions and it opens a dialogue that needs to happen. Check out Walk A Mile cards here.