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Be Careful What You Wish For: Honeymoon No More?

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This past week has scared me. I think my honeymoon period is coming to an end.

After 3 years of it, I was actually getting used to how my body worked and how much insulin to take. I was FINALLY reaching what I felt was a good place.

Now, I need to take double or sometimes triple the amount I usually would. I’m getting weird spikes. I’m slowly freaking out.

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What does the future look like? When do I get a pump? Will my tight control go out the window? It feels like it’s past the window and onto the other side of the street lately.

I’m scared. Really scared.

Honeymoon, I wish I would have cherished you more. You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.

My world feels like it’s being tossed up.

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Becoming a JDRF Adult Support Group Regular

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I’m committed to going on the regular. 2016 is the year of consistency, and for me, that means attending the JDRF adult support group every month. I went in December and tonight and I can say for me the pros definitely outweigh the cons.

Perspective: Although I still feel new and often lost at times within the bunch (in person and online)-I get to meet others who are at all different stages: the veterans, the newly diagnosed, it’s really a mixed bag and it offers a lot of different perspectives.

The greatest advantage is walking away after a few hours and knowing I was in a room with a bunch of people who just get it. I can’t really put a price on that or even describe the magnitude of that pro but let’s just say it’s pretty big for me. Let me stuff my face with cookie crumbs hanging from my lip. Taking 5 pee breaks during the session. No explanation needed.

Mentally, it gives me a power up. Like in Mario!

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And now that I’ve been to the meetings enough times, my name card is set out on the table and I know a lot of faces who come to the table. I’m not as nervous as before and I can tell physically that my body is more relaxed. I’m not worrying about how I look or if I’m slouching. I’m just Jess.

That type of familiarity is especially important to me since there has been so much change in my life the last while.

We all want to feel we belong. We all want to be acknowledged. And this group does just that for me.

Next week I have a date with two type 1 friends and when I take inventory, a lot of my close friends now are people living with type 1. That, including some of the interaction I have with people on social media, I have to say there’s a community in-person and online that adds up to something I can’t take for granted in 2016.

This will be a big year for me in so many ways, and with a good team, new endocrinologist and hospital (which I have yet to meet, fingers crossed), place, and fresh new business adventures, it will be one big ride.

Has a support group helped you? Who is part of your diabetes community?

Sending lots of support to you need it, and even if you feel you don’t.

I will do everything -right- and my blood sugars will still do whatever it wants. I will have huge victories and sometimes feel defeated. no matter what though, every day i'm going to set out to try. i will think about how i want my life to

XO,

Jess

 

 

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Help! Finding a new diabetes team

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I’ve moved.

It’s been a few weeks now and I can tell you, the uproar this has done to my diabetes management has been more than I anticipated.

Who thought there’d be mourning of my routine? Oh but there was. I had a way of doing things, putting my diabetes bag in certain places, having my emergency stash of quick carbs and needles just so…I had gotten comfortable and now, everything is in flux.

I need to find a new team (another excruciating and anxious-ridden task). Today I finally mustered up the courage to e-mail two endocrinologists who were recommended to me. I was almost in tears as I wrote something along the lines of, “Please take me in. I’ll do anything.”

 

 

I don’t want the chance of having an endo that doesn’t know what a CGM looks like (yes, that happened) or what feels like shortened time because on paper, everything looks pretty good but it’s not emotionally (also has happened).

Truth is, I am struggling. I am on edge. I am burnt out. It’s a chance to start a fresh routine (yay!) but I’m also mourning the loss of the old one.

Being diagnosed as an adult, I very often so silly writing on this blog. What am I complaining about!? I’m an adult! I can process this. But I can’t. And I think that there’s others out there like me who are having trouble doing the same.

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How have you dealt with a new apartment/house? How did you change your routine for the better? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Okay, I just broke down in tears. I think it’s time to end this now.

Thank you for always loving me unconditionally DOC. You don’t know what you mean to me.

XO,

J

 

 

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Routine rebuild.

Have a look at my friend Anne Marie’s honest and motivating entry about training with type 1 :D We all need motivation!

Road to the Ironman!

I knew that following a training plan last year was part of my success out on the course. I knew that having a coach nudge me along, as I dealt with insecurities and motivation valleys, was also incredibly important. Now as I try and get back onto a routine, I am realizing that these pieces are more than important. They are key pieces to the puzzle. I need to be accountable to someone. I need to have a laid out plan in front of me. I need those nudges, those pushes, those reminders, to get me out the door.

Getting back onto a workout routine has been challenging .The bike accident certainly has affected my ability to easily transition into the off season and I find myself frustrated that it has taken me this long to fully recover. I have managed to swim and attend a few spin classes, but…

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Sebastien Sasseville Quote 2

I am not a diabetic.

When I first watched this amazing piece by Prince EA, I thought to myself- I haven’t really admitted to all the nasty things I believe when I label myself. Trust that I can be extremely harsh and abusive.

Sometimes it’s this:

It’s about that label of being a diabetic. Living with diabetes. However you call it.

What have I started and continue to believe about myself with a type 1 diabetes diagnosis, a neurological disorder, hearing impairment?

How do I break this down, shatter these assumptions holding me back? I think it’s first by getting over the fear and starting to share my thoughts.

Here I go.

XO,

J

 

The Type 1 Update at Mount Sinai on World Diabetes Day

How did you spend World Diabetes Day?

I know some of you in Toronto area had your butts glued to the theatre seats at Mount Sinai Hospital, listening to Sebastien Sasseville.

ICYMI: Sebastien ran ACROSS CANADA. He crossed his personal finish line in Vancouver on World Diabetes Day a year ago. Has it really been that long?

He was one of the highlights at this year’s Animas Type 1 Update.

I wasn’t there (announcement-I’m moving! Second obvious announcement- I am up to my eyeballs in things to-do to make this move as smooth as possible).

Luckily, I was able to grab some snapshots of what happened via Twitter and Facebook. This event is one of my favourites and I have been to it EVERY TIME since I’ve been diagnosed. I was bummed I couldn’t attend this year, but happy that I could have a look into the speeches via social media.

Here’s a graphic I made from Seb’s speech. Thank you Sandy for the awesome tweets!

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Here are some of the tweets!

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This one from Animas gal Sandy Struss.

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Lorraine is an RDE, CDE. Every time I hear Lorraine speak, I learn something a bit mind-boggling about diabetes. Here’s what I learned earlier last year at the same event:

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Temperature?! Cooking method? I knew diabetes was complex but had no idea these things effect your bg’s.

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Another totally “What the what” situation for me? The CGM which I have named Lumiere (because he lights up at night, my life and satisfies my Beauty and the Beast love awwwww), has been a real eye-opener for me.

There were some foods I thought were working with my body smoothly and others I thought I needed to stay away from. Lumiere let me look into what was happening in between the two hours pre and post meal.

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Now back to #T1Update15. The 3 S’s. L-R: Animas Tough Mudder champion Sandy, Sebastien and Master of Ceremonies Shawn Shepheard. Captain Steven C. Steele was on board too to talk about his piloting career.

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Lastly, a confession.

It’s been very very difficult to keep up my diabetes blog, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. I do my best, but I have started my own business now which eats up a lot of my time.

I’ve really been consumed with guilt over this, but today I declare after World Diabetes Day that I shouldn’t need to feel so badly.

I am living out my dreams as an entrepreneur and not letting diabetes stop me in any way. Not letting my seizures take away my push for gold. Refusing to let my hearing impairment stop me from enjoying social events.

It may not be displayed on social media but this, I realized, is the best example I can be to others living with type 1 diabetes.

I’m doing what I want, making dreams a reality, being focused on positive friends and family. This month and further on I refuse to put myself down because I am doing everything I ever wanted-with a little insulin on the side.

If you ever need a reminder of how to live well with diabetes, get out there and attend events like this one. Be informed. Be empowered. Most of all, appreciate the time we have on this earth.

Given recent world events I think it’s safe to say we are all being reminded that life is oh-so precious and we need to enjoy all the life that we have.

XO,

Jess

 

Let the month of diabetes awareness begin!

If ever there is a time to get out there and connect with fellow t1d’s, it’s this month. There are loads of events happening in Toronto (and across Canada of course) and I wanted to share with you some of them so you can book those days off and meet up with your friends who just ‘get it’.

The earliest event is coming up on Wednesday:

I’ve interviewed both Michelle and Sebastian and trust that this talk will leave you feeling so much better about your diabetes management.

Call Calgary home? Why not mix and mingle with Connected in Motion?

Their next event is on Nov. 4th. Click here for more details! 

Sports your thang? Check out this event. Toronto Argos dress in blue too. #twinsies

And on World Diabetes Day, Nov. 14th, the annual Type 1 Update hosted by Animas will take place once again!

I go to this event every year (I went in the spring) and I think this may be the first one I miss which makes me really sad. I’ll be sure to cover the event in whatever way I can though. This 1/2 day has always lifted my spirits and made me feel more confident. I hope you can attend this one! Don’t forget to RSVP to Robin.
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There’s so many more events but here are the highlights. Feel free to comment and share any other events that you know of this going on this month.

And one more thing! What’s an awareness month without some profile pic changes? Check out this awesome campaign #T1DLooksLikeMe and get yours here.

XO

Jess